Monday, December 29, 2008

Happy!

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all; plus, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country, nor is it the only 'America' in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference/orientation (the use of which terminology is not intended to imply a preference or deference to one theory or another on the physiological nature of sexuality) of the wisher.


Disclaimer: By accepting this greeting, you agree to these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal at any time. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. Warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit. Your rights may vary by state.

5 comments:

reader_iam said...

I loved the following from Lilek's latest screed:

The historical cultures have no place in the great grey continental smear of egalitarian glory, no matter how much they mean to the citizens. The future may be the undiscovered country, but the past is the inconvenient one.

Weird: the vh is "wingless."

Spencer Troxell said...

I like this greeting, but can we break it down into an acronym or something? That's really going to be a mouthful to say while passing people in the hallway at work.

Trooper York said...

Hey Happy New Year Pastor Jeff. Belated but my best wishes to you all the same. I hope you and yours are well and had a happy holiday season.

Pastor_Jeff said...

Thanks everyone for the good wishes. Best to you and yours in 2009.

Mark Daniels said...

Jeff:
I hope that you're doing well. God bless!

Mark


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